Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
