just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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