how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Still dying that you shit outside
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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