Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
