Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
