Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
