She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
