This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I want to fling myself into the sun
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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