She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
