But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
