Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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