Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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