ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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