I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
