There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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