I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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