he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize