There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
