I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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