would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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