On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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