I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
