Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
