all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
