why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize