I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
