I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
