We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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