The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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