You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
