he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
