he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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