??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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