so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
