WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
