You can't motorboat a personality
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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