Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
