You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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