Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
