So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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