There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize