Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
