I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
