this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
