I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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