Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize