I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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