Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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