Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.

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(714): View more from California

We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now

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(410): View more from Maryland

i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv

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(409): View more from Texas

I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop

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(404): View more from Georgia

It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.

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(937): View more from Ohio

think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.

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(773): View more from Illinois

He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable

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(727): View more from Florida

So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.

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