i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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