worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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