the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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