8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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