Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
