i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Two words: blizzard sex
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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