So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
