He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
