I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
