1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
