I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
When are your genitals available?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
