OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
